I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
