WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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