After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
