so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
