Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
