he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
