I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
