I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
how does that bad decision feel?
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