Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
