one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize