Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I love you. Go after that dick
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
