i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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