I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
