speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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