Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
