"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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