Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
