I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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