his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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