ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
