Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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