the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
