We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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