those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize