How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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