dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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