how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
