You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
