I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize