He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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