i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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