Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Help. Why am I so naked?
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