I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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