Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
