She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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