FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
