I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
