I'm eating all of the evidence.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
