She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize