If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So many bounce houses so little time
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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