I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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