Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
