she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize