You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
