how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
