I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
