check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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