I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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