well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
