Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
