he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
