You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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