also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
