Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize