I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Shame - the story of my life.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
