Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
