My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sext me about skeletons
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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