You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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