wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
