you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
